Tag: grandpa richard
COMRADES GETTING HIGH; ABUSING VIAGRA
WHY UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ARE KILLING EACH OTHER
WANTED: A NEW BRAND OF STUDENT LEADERSHIP

Amidst the usual smut and common-place party videos that would make Kenya Film Classification Board Chairman, Ezekiel Mutua, throw up his lunch, a more disturbing clip was shared widely by my comrades early this week. The video was surreal, strange and made my head my head spin. It (allegedly) captures…
NOW HELB PLANS TO FINANCE STUDENTS WITH GAMBLING MONEY
WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD WORSE PARTIES THAN PROJECT X
COMRADES, YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO DIE FOR LOVE
DON’T BLAME THE SYSTEM; YOU’RE PART OF IT
SORRY COMRADES, WE’RE ALL HALF-BAKED

My old man, Grandpa Richard, has always held the view that our higher education system is shambolic, topsy-turvy and—gets this—cursed with an evil eye. When he first made these claims, comrades flooded my mailbox and twitter timeline with all forms of contemptuous epithets, crying baloney and saying that his opinions…
IN LOVING MEMORY OF INTEGRITY
‘TIS THE SEASON FOR ASININE END-YEAR JAMBOREES {MERRY CHRISTMAS COMRADES}
BEHOLD, THE FEMALE COMRADE HAS COME OF AGE
MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO
BRACE YOURSELVES… EL-NINO IS FINALLY HERE!
OF MOB JUSTICE AND UNIVERSITY GANGS
THE BLUEBAND GENERATION NEEDS TO TOUGHEN UP

A week ago, popular columnist Njoki Chege shook the blogosphere with a piece that claimed today’s cohort of young men has increasingly become spineless, lazy and ambitionless. She referred to the ill-fated generation as Blueband boys, which I assume was an inference to what they were fed for breakfast while…
GRAFFITI IS NOT ART

My comrades usually invent the most ludicrous ways in which to “express themselves.” When they’re not being opprobrious to motorists by throwing stones across major highways, you will find them mutilating their skins with anchors and dragon tattoos which they will have the temerity to call art. “Back in the…
LISTEN TO SAUTI SOL AND SHUN ABORTION
FORGET OKOA KENYA; IT’S MY COMRADES THAT NEED SAVING

Last week, CORD launched the Okoa Kenya drive, an initiative that they promise will deliver the country from insecurity, devolution and corruption woos. While welcoming this latest gimmick in Kenya’s political circus, my old man, Grandpa Richard, is of the opinion that politicians are barking up the wrong tree. “If…
THE SHAME OF DATING COUGAR SUGAR MAMAS
PERHAPS COMRADES SHOULD STEP ASIDE TOO
7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE COMRADES
IT’S TIME FOR COMRADES TO THINK OUTSIDE THE X-BOX

My old Man, Grandpa Richard, has been reading distressing news from his crystal ball once again. He has foreseen a future whereby comrades have been completely zombied out and their brains wasted. With a terrible visual acuity and disfigured thumbs from playing too many video games, these androids will roam…
JACKS OF ALL TRADES; MY COMRADES SPEAK TOO MUCH
BEHOLD, COMRADES OF A DIGITAL ERROR

The digital era is finally here with us. In its wake however, the migration debacle has wrecked havoc within Kenya’s soul, as opposed to the legion benefits we’d anticipated. It has violated every sacred principle about the right to information that the likes of Dedan Kimathi died for. Watching the…
MY FILTHY COMRADES MAKE ME FURIOUS!
THE FOLLY OF VALENTINE’S DAY; WHY CUPID RHYMES WITH STUPID
RIP INTEGRITY; TWAS AN AWFUL MURDER
SELFIES, THE END OF MORDERN CIVILISATION
AN OLD MAN’S FEARS FOR 2015
‘TIS THE SEASON FOR ASININE END-YEAR JAMBOREES
School’s out so my comrades are on the loose

School’s out so my comrades are on the loose My comrades have just been paroled from the schooling system and like the proverbial chicken, they’re all jostling for tickets at “Machakos Airport”, heading to their respective villages to roost. With the festive season here, Grandpa Richard is dreading the unfolding…
Hilarity ensues as Grandpa decides to join Facebook
RISQUE RISKINESS: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE SENDING NUDE PICS ON WHATSAPP
GRANDPA’S GUIDE TO TREATING A LADY
COMRADES SURELY TAKING US BACK TO STONE AGE
NOTE TO GULLIBLE PARENTS
They’re financially illiterate, these comrades of mine

The problem with my comrades is that they are financially illiterate. The concepts of working for their own money, saving and re-investing seem to be alien notions completely foreign to the comrades. Mix this witch’s brew with their economic warts such as gambling boisterously and spending in a slapdash fashion …
WHEN COMRADES GO ROGUE
ENSLAVED BY THEIR CELLPHONES?
PERHAPS RELIGION IS ALL WE NEED
OF A COMRADE WHO DISHED OUT HIV LIKE CONFETTI
SPARE US THESE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
MIND YOUR PEAS AND DIETARY CUES

Dear Comrades, Contrary to popular misconception, Grandpa Richard is actually a loving and caring man with a heart the size of a range-rover. He’s genuinely concerned about your health. When it comes to nutritional intelligence, grandpa thinks you comrades are just learning how to make fire. That’s why he has…
SLEEPING SICKNESS

Thousands of years to come, when historians will be chronicling events from the current epoch, they are sure to reserve copious pages for a peculiar batty creature that lived in Kenyan universities. They will discover that this feral organism, known simply as comrade, was always fraught with myriad problems. But…
RESPECT? WHAT’S THAT?
A COMRADES’ PLEBISCITE
DECIBELS OF INSANITY
COMRADES IN UNIFORM? NOT SUCH A BAD IDEA

A few weeks ago, a noble suggestion was mooted that university students be clothed in uniforms. In their usual fashion of opposing everything that has a lick of common sense, my comrades received the proposal with hue and cry. “The reprehensible nonsense that passes for dressing nowadays is a brazen…
A COMRADES’ GUIDE TO PASSING AN INTERVIEW
A COMRADES’ GUIDE TO BECOMING EMPLOYABLE
COMRADES PIERCINGS FREAK ME OUT!

There is a weird trend slowly gaining ground among campus reprobates that’s giving me the willies. It is a curious blend of self-destruction and asininity; an unexplainable macabre desire to mutilate one’s body by perforating every single orifice. Pray, why would one choose to add 18 extra holes onto their…
MY COMRADES AND THEIR POOR READING CULTURE!
BETTING ON FOOTBALL? HOW SILLY!
OF COMRADES’ BIG BOOTIES AND BLEACHED SKINS
THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND ROMANCE, THESE COMRADES OF MINE

It seems that morals and common-sense are not the only things that have fled from my comrades. Cupid too has joined the bandwagon and deserted the youngsters, leaving behind a generation devoid of courtship values, romance and a squat of true love. Relationships among my comrades are like houses built…
COMRADES, ENOUGH OF THIS GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE!
OF SOCIAL MEDIA ATTENTION SEEKERS
COMRADES’ TATTOOS THAT MAKE ME SICK!
WHAT A LAZY LOT! THEY’RE UNAMBITIOUS AND DREAD WORK!
THEY’RE ASININE POLITICIANS, THESE COMRADES OF MINE

Whoever came up with the expression ‘Politics is a dirty game’ must have been an observer of campus elections. This is because my comrades’ p rimal nature never shines brighter than when they are electing their next bunch of leaders. During this period, comrades are ever volatile, highly charged, and…
It’s Hilarious Pornography, not Choreography

While attending an alumni function at a local university, my old man Grandpa Richard accidentally walked into the institution’s students’ centre and immediately froze on his tracks. What the pensioner saw shocked him to the core. My comrades were flailing around like retarded rabbits hopped up on rabies and hormones,…