An ardent reader of this column, Mr. Michael Hatego, recently wrote to me mourning his watchman and his newspaper vendor. I felt his pain, because I know how hard it is to get a decent newspaper guy for my old man, Grandpa Richard. The deaths, Mr. Hatego noted, resulted from…
After US President Barack Obama’s recent visit to Kenya, my old man, Grandpa Richard, was a jolly man. However, his hopes of leaving behind a better Kenya for his grandchildren have been dashed over the past few days. His moods have nosedived from the tower of optimism to the basement…
My old man, Grandpa Richard, has been heavily criticised by my comrades for allegedly being a sadist. In his defence, Grandpa Richard states that he has indeed scoured my comrades with a fine-toothed comb in an effort to find positivity, but the results yielded were nothing to write home about.…
My old Man, Grandpa Richard, has been reading distressing news from his crystal ball once again. He has foreseen a future whereby comrades have been completely zombied out and their brains wasted. With a terrible visual acuity and disfigured thumbs from playing too many video games, these androids will roam…
When my old man Grandpa Richard was younger, they never took time off to snooze, booze or get tattoos. They were too busy engaging on more productive forms of art, like dancing to theIsukuti and carving out calabashes. And when they did indulge themselves in some mindless skin defacing schemes,…
The Mugendalets are at it again. This time, they’ve effectively crossed the threshold from being a reprehensible minute institution full of primitive energy to being an international (I blame this on Thika Road) institution still full of primitive energy. Their primal nature has never shone brighter than when students are…
Ladies and gentlemen, it is with deep regret and a long face that I stand before you this fateful day. I am sorry to be the poll-bearer of sad news, and believe you me; it pains me to the deepest point of my spirit. The world’s procreation industry has…