A maddening cacophony of discordant sounds is what greets you if you venture into any residence inhabited by college students. My comrades feed on asinine music, played at decibels so high that it is a wonder their heads don’t blow up left, right and centre. Their music, loud enough to wake the dead, blasts out loud around a radius of several kilometers.

And what about when they host asinine jamborees and invite their rascally drink-loving comrades over? Woe betide you if you happen to live within the same compound with any of these students. Needless to say, you won’t sleep a wink that night. Instead, you’ll have a rough night contending with the miscreants next door shouting in sexual language while gyrating to ‘Bedroom Bully’.

“The country is facing an acute energy crisis at the moment,” Observes my old man, Grandpa Richard. “We cannot afford errant young people wasting precious megawatts by gratuitously blaring out ratchet music day and night.”

What galls me is the fact that my comrades, acting as though they’re on strict instructions from the devil, make it their business to ruin the peace and force asinine tunes down the throats of innocent neighbours and passersby. Who told them we all want to listen to the Babel of maddening and confusing noises they call music? I know people like Grandpa Richard who’d rather listen to cats getting strangled, at least they have pitch.

Oh, and don’t get me started on people who use these hands-free doohickeys called earphones. Matter of fact, they’ve grown bigger and bigger over the years, and now comrades parade around with headphones that weigh a tone and cover half of their faces. They are ever tied to their phones and mp3 players like dogs on a leash. I have a feeling that before the next World Cup, most of these headphones would have been replaced with hearing aids. It’s insidious and dangerous.

It’s impossible to communicate with any of my comrades; they’d rather die than take off their earpieces to listen to you. This is a terrible disgrace and death of decent conversation. I suggest they cut their headphones, shut up their mouths, and just listen for a while. They just might learn something.

The whole notion of respect to seniours has been shot to hell in that comrades never even bother to take off their earpieces when being addressed by elders. If I had ever addressed Grandpa Richard with my earphones on, he’d have hung me upside down using its wires and the whole of humanity would owe him a great debt.

Is it a coincidence that all the mercurial nuggets of wisdom that Grandpa Richard and I dish out through this column appear to be falling on deaf ears? I think not. Their ears are selectively deaf because they’ve been ruined by earsplitting music which only makes them volatile, highly charged and prone to violent explosion.

They play their music too loud, that’s the problem with my comrades.

Lukorito Jones

When I'm not busy chasing around stories for my quasi-journalism career, you'll find me dabbling in fiction and perfecting my deer-dancing and goat-screaming skills.

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