OBAMA VISIT UNLOCKS COMRADES’ PRIMITIVE ENERGY

Share this on WhatsApp You couldn’t have been more wrong if you thought that the chaps locked up in that asylum along Thika Road are Kenya’s mentally challenged. The real mentally profane are actually found in our institutions of higher learning; those at Mathari have simply been misread. My old…

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WE HAVE A RIGHT TO BOOZE!

Share this on WhatsApp We, the comrades from Kenya’s institutions of higher learning, stand united today in condemnation of the recent directive issued by the President against alcohol manufacturers and consumers. The directive, which has seen both legitimate and comrade-friendly illegitimate beer destroyed in the past few days, has plunged…

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THE SHAME OF COMRADES IN SHABAAB’S PAYROLL

Share this on WhatsApp The previous week has seen my comrades’ moral fibre come under heavy scrutiny from a number of sources.  Instead of opening books and spreading knowledge, my comrades of the fairer sex have run the gauntlet of social media for allegedly opening legs and spreading syphilis, once…

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WHAT I WISH KENYAN STUDENTS KNEW ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY

Share this on WhatsApp There’s nothing in the world that beats the feeling of having to share a meal with my old man, Grandpa Richard. I always look forward to such rare occasions as he recounts stories from the halcyon days when night-runners didn’t arm-twist the government to recognize them…

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THE BLUEBAND GENERATION NEEDS TO TOUGHEN UP

Share this on WhatsApp A week ago, popular columnist Njoki Chege shook the blogosphere with a piece that claimed today’s cohort of young men has increasingly become spineless, lazy and ambitionless. She referred to the ill-fated generation as Blueband boys, which I assume was an inference to what they were…

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HILARIOUS LIES MY COMRADES TELL TO GET LAID

Share this on WhatsApp Giving credit where it’s due, I must say my comrades are very creative fellows. However, they all seem to apply this creativity in asinine ways such as innovating habits of cheating in exams and inventing new methods of ingesting marijuana.(Read: They’re higher than Kites; these comrades…

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GRAFFITI IS NOT ART

Share this on WhatsApp My comrades usually invent the most ludicrous ways in which to “express themselves.” When they’re not being opprobrious to motorists by throwing stones across major highways, you will find them mutilating their skins with anchors and dragon tattoos which they will have the temerity to call…

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LISTEN TO SAUTI SOL AND SHUN ABORTION

Share this on WhatsApp Nerea. That’s the title of a song about an eponymous girl, Nerea, who is being urged by her partner not abort his baby. In the beautiful tune by music maestros Sauti Sol featuring Amos and Josh, the partner argues that perhaps the unborn child might end…

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