OVERCOMING JEALOUSY IN A RELATIONSHIP

ImageJealousy can be considered as one of the most common of all human emotions; and rightfully so. Though many of us are reluctant to admit it; we all feel jealous and insecure every once in a while in our relationships, no matter how solid they are. People usually succumb to jealousy when they feel that that their relationship s are being threatened by an external factor. The most common of these factors may include competitive situations such as your girlfriend having a male best friend or your boyfriend spending too much time with his crew.

Whilst it is completely healthy for couples to feel jealous once in a while, the green-eyed monster, as Shakespeare called it, can tear your affair apart if unchecked. Eliminating jealousy in a relationship may not be a walk in park, but it is something you and your partner can work on to improve your relationship.

When they said that honesty is the best policy, they never lied. When it comes to insecurity, honesty and candour might just be the solution. Have a heart to heart to heart conversation with your partner, and be sure to pinpoint the problem clearly. Let him know it’s the girls that pose for pictures with him that bother you; let her be aware that you don’t like the way she flirts with guys on Facebook. Speak up; seething in silence won’t solve anything.

Building your esteem and self-confidence can go a long way in doing away with your insecurities. Understand that your partner chose you for a reason, and he can’t let go of you that easily. Understand that you’re a pearl, the rest of the people your partner interacts with are just but worthless rocks. Here, trusting your partner is key. Stop comparing yourself with others and work on relevant areas of your self esteem where you feel it’s lacking.

How about you and your partner becoming more independent and giving each other some space? If your girlfriend wants go out with her pals, why not let her? Keeping her ‘imprisoned’ will only increase her resentment. Stop questioning about every girl that likes your boyfriend’s status on Facebook. In fact, just stop stalking your partner all together. Relax the leash upon around their collar.

If you cannot grant that much freedom to your lover, then at least sit down with them and define boundaries. Let both of you know the extent whereby one can go when it comes to relating with the opposite sex.  State in black and white what you consider cheating, and ask them to place themselves in your shoes. If situations were reversed, would they be comfortable?

jowaljones

Jowal Jones is a columnist and correspondent with Kenya's leading newspaper, Daily Nation. He also dabbles in fiction works at times, hoping to be the next Stephen King. Sometimes he takes time out from writing to perfect his deer-dancing and goat-screaming skills.