IS YOUR PARTNER TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED?

ImageJust the same way as it takes two to tango; it also takes two parties, each offering an equal amount of contribution, to make a relationship work. However, at times, a partner might start putting less effort towards making the affair work. They gradually lose interest, making you feel they’re disinterested in the affair. At this point, the once sugar-sweet love turns into a lemon-bitter concoction, making it more of a drag than a pleasure it should actually be. How do you know your lover is taking you for granted? Is it time to cut your losses?

To me, the biggest sign that your partner is taking you for granted is when they never initiate contact. She expects you to be the one who always says hi. He will never text or call you first. If you’re always the one initiating the conversation, doesn’t that make you feel like the other person doesn’t care whether you’re a focal point in their life or not?

Another red flag is when your partner never sets aside any time for you. Your calls suddenly aren’t picked, and your texts take a century to be replied to. When confronted, the culprits always have one line of defense, “I was busy.” It’s easy to swallow that malarkey hook, line and sinker, especially in these days when we try to pack 25 hours of activity in the 24 hours that we have. However, I do believe that if someone really wants to talk to you – they will find a way to, under almost any circumstance. 

Then there are lovers who keep forgetting every little thing about you. Your husband forgets that you’d planned for a date on Thursday night, or your wife forgets about your anniversary. Your girlfriend may never remember your birth date, and yet she’ll throw tantrums when you forget to mark theirs. When you notice these things, please take it as a prophecy that you love is headed for a state of unsustainable limbo.

Relationships are all about give and take, in equal measure. Yet, you might find yourself in a relationship whereby you’re the one who puts in more than 80% of effort. You find yourself paying all the bills, even when your partner has the same (or even better) financial ability as you have. You’ve been buying her expensive gifts for the past two years, yet she’s never seen it fit to even bequest you a simple pair of socks. Let me tell you something you already know – your partner does not love you as much as you think she does.

If you notice any of the above signs, it is high time you and your partner sat down and had a talk about where your relationship is actually headed.

jowaljones

Jowal Jones is a columnist and correspondent with Kenya's leading newspaper, Daily Nation. He also dabbles in fiction works at times, hoping to be the next Stephen King. Sometimes he takes time out from writing to perfect his deer-dancing and goat-screaming skills.