WHAT I WISH KENYAN STUDENTS KNEW ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY


pornographyThere’s nothing in the world that beats the feeling of having to share a meal with my old man, Grandpa Richard. I always look forward to such rare occasions as he recounts stories from the halcyon days when night-runners didn’t arm-twist the government to recognize them and Instagram was yet to be invented.

This particular evening he told me of the times they grew up avoiding anything that could whip them into a froth of sexual tension. Smartphones and dirty magazines were hard to come by; and the closest they ever got to watching pornography was when they made it to Senior High School and managed to peep at pictures in the anatomy chapter of the Advanced Biology textbook. “Our curiosity and interest in the finer sex was only satisfied during our wedding nights and not a day prior,” he observes.

With my comrades, however, the amount of debauchery and perverted lewdness is jaw-dropping. It seems as though everyone is determined to either feature in a blue movie or watch it in terabytes. Pornography is hastily defining our culture, as the youth are just but three clicks away from all manner of smutty bits and deviant acts of depravity.

Grandpa Richard suspects that the interwebs are to blame, and he is right. A look behind several hostel doors will reveal that my comrades have moved a step further from simply being smut consumers to producers as well. If you have been to 2013 lately, you probably recall the Mombasa incident that involved university students, a German national and a canine. I am ashamed to reveal that the trail started back then is still blazing, with sex tapes and prurient Whatsapp videos surviving the day.

pornbuttonAnd it’s not just plain naked people anymore. Today’s porn industry has evolved into hundreds of sub-genres in order to fulfill every despicable carnal craving. This often includes all forms of gymnastics, kitchen appliances and even farm animals.

“This unhealthy preoccupation explains why our youth are becoming increasingly dysfunctional,” notes my old man. Young people find it hard to concentrate on nation building since they spend 18 hours a day googling about the latest cameltoe (excuse my French) trends and zooming upon equally vile images.

Even dating is becoming a huge challenge for the generation due to smut. Instead of investing their time on normal interactions with the opposite sex, my comrades are usually too busy erasing questionable browsing history at 1 am.

Grandpa Richard also says that by indulging themselves in adult videos, my comrades are only setting themselves up for a life of sexual frustration in future. This is because the trend sets unrealistic and fake expectations about how bedroom affairs should be conducted.

“If you ask me, Kenya will never achieve vision 2030 until your comrades repent, unsubscribe from their night data bundles, format their hard drives, detoxify their brains, and get themselves a lick of self-respect,”  says Grandpa Richard.

They all watch pornography, that’s the problem with my comrades.

Read: LIES MY COMRADES TELL IN ORDER TO GET LAID

jowaljones

Jowal Jones is a columnist and correspondent with Kenya's leading newspaper, Daily Nation. He also dabbles in fiction works at times, hoping to be the next Stephen King. Sometimes he takes time out from writing to perfect his deer-dancing and goat-screaming skills.