LIKE WAIGURU, IT’S NEVER OUR FAULT


In a culture where people flaunt and strut their privates at the drop of a hat, someone pushed the envelope and made a putrid five-minute nude film.

Illustraion: Joseph Ngari, Daily Nation

Illustraion: Joseph Ngari, Daily Nation

Kenyans, my comrades included, got blazing-hot under the collar and wanted to have the DJ’s head for breakfast. He had committed a capital offense; and for that he had to hang. But then the celebrity in question drafted an apology and just like that, his troubles disappeared. All was forgiven. The sex-tape villain had become a saint.

But Kenyans still needed a place to channel their primitive energy, so they focused it all upon a Cabinet Secretary whose office had allegedly misappropriated millions if not billions of shillings.

This time they (Kenyans) were so angry that you could see smoke coming out of their ears. They couldn’t fathom how a single ball pen could sell for Sh8,700. They were utterly flummoxed by the revelation that a telly screen was bought for close to Sh2 million.

Their jaws dropped to the floor; they are yet to pick them up.

I too was tempted to join the bandwagon of charlatan economists who were chastising our good old CS, but I was sensible enough to wait until her side of the story was heard. My patience bore fruits when she spoke later on, where she said the runaway

corruption in her ministry could by no means be her fault. Enemies of development were burning the midnight oil to smear mud on her honourable name, she seemed to imply. I believed her.

The CS’s statement got me thinking about my comrades from a whole new prism. Sure, my comrades have their own short-comings, but maybe it’s not always their fault.

When they hump each like bunnies and abort every other Monday, it’s only their hormones acting up. When they overdose on marijuana and pelt innocent motorists with stones, the blame lies squarely with their vice-chancellor who treats them like crap, right?

What of the times when they’re caught selling KCSE papers via Whatsapp? You can’t really blame them when they’re only trying to eke out a living at a time when the economy is in the toilet, can you?

When they go all berserk and decide to get breast implants and bleach their skins we can only blame their creator, right? And who can blame them when they drop out of school to enlist as full-time crooks? We all know the 8-4-4 system is screwed, don’t we?

What is shocking is the deliberate refusal to recognise the role of Jubilee and Cord, the economy, campus administration and God in my comrades’ misfortunes.

Yet vicious and unwarranted attacks against their character by Jowal Jones and Grandpa Richard have continued. It’s a calculated evil, vindictive and ill-intentioned. It’s an unfortunate distraction from the nation-building that the comrades have been doing. And for the record, university students do not smoke marijuana.

My comrades are just but mere products of their circumstances cast to doom by the vicissitudes of fate. Do I believe a single word I’m writing? Nope.

jowaljones

Jowal Jones is a columnist and correspondent with Kenya's leading newspaper, Daily Nation. He also dabbles in fiction works at times, hoping to be the next Stephen King. Sometimes he takes time out from writing to perfect his deer-dancing and goat-screaming skills.