IT’S TIME FOR COMRADES TO THINK OUTSIDE THE X-BOX


b5a9624509fd70_full_answer_1_xlargeMy old Man, Grandpa Richard, has been reading distressing news from his crystal ball once again. He has foreseen a future whereby comrades have been completely zombied out and their brains wasted. With a terrible visual acuity and disfigured thumbs from playing too many video games, these androids will roam the streets stealing cars, shooting innocent grannies and ripping out spinal cords from citizens enjoying an evening stroll.

Methinks my old man is right; there is every reason to panic. Video games have become the new drug among my comrades, curving a firm niche amongst the pile of boiled marijuana, asinine sports betting, nefarious porno and unconventional haircuts. It’s insidious and dangerous!

As I type this article in a seedy cyber café (at least this one doesn’t pose as an aviation college), a dozen comrades are waiting in line for a chance to play “Call of Duty.” Needless to say, that is the only duty they will be attending to all day long. Heck, they’ll even answer the call of nature while playing Call of Duty, how crappy!

After spending 12 hours straight rotting their brains and skipping showers, they will retire to their hostels to score penalties in FIFA 15 for another 8 hours. On rare occasions when they manage to attend classes, you will notice them leashed to their smart phones and puffing in Temple Run and crushing sweets in Candy Crush. It is a debilitating disease, I tell you.

“Back in the day the shamba was our Play Station, and we engaged in sensible sports like hopscotch and the sack race. They were wholesome games that instilled decent values and prepared us to be productive members of the society,” recalls my old man with a tinge of remorse. “It is a shame that decent play is now headed the way of the dodo bird.”

“Today’s generation is proving itself to be a bunch of certified morons by canoodling with video games which only make them overweight, anti-social and introverted sociopaths.” he laments.

The major problem with these virtual games, Grandpa says, is that once they’re plugged in to their Nintendo, they invariably tune out to the realities of the world. The video games automatically take precedence over everything else, while at the same time deluding them into thinking they can actually do things.

When jolted back to reality, these comrades find it extremely hard to handle life if it does not come with an instruction manual, a gaming jockey and cheat codes. Woe betide us if they ever decide to transform the violence learnt in the games to the real world. That’s the day mass shootings will be reported in universities.

“I hope I don’t live to see the day when one of your comrades takes control of Kenya only to become totally lost if the Presidency does not come with video game controllers,” says the septuagenarian. “It is time for your comrades to think outside the X-box and break free from the addictive, pervasive and damaging effects of video-gaming.”Teen-video-game-addiction-signs1

jowaljones

Jowal Jones is a columnist and correspondent with Kenya's leading newspaper, Daily Nation. He also dabbles in fiction works at times, hoping to be the next Stephen King. Sometimes he takes time out from writing to perfect his deer-dancing and goat-screaming skills.