DATE RAPE: AVOIDING THE ‘MOLLIS’ TRAP


maxresdefaultA fortnight ago, I made it clear that I won’t be wasting an atom of my grey matter deliberating on the Mollis audio clip. Quoting former President Daniel Arap Moi, I was convinced, and justifiably so, that such matters do not have the ability to add ugali on my plate. Neither was I lying when I stated that the tawdry audio clip was the most appalling crap that I’d ever had the misfortune to listen to.

Early this week however, a comrade of mine happened to send my old man, Grandpa Richard, the now (in)famous audio clip. What was that comrade smoking? Only a certified moron will find rationale in forwarding such nonsensical hokum to a conservative septuagenarian.

When the greybeard called me for a pet-talk shortly afterwards, I was expecting to see steam billowing out from his ears but he was surprisingly calm.  He wanted me to address my comrades about an issue called date rape.

When people think about rape, they might picture a scary man wearing a balaclava pulling them into a dark corner and imposing their doggone shagathons upon them. It might come as surprise that a great number of my female comrades have been forcibly violated by people they actually know. In rare cases, my bearded colleagues have fallen victims too!

Of disgust was the manner by which the Mollis incidence was greeted with hoopla and mirth all over social media. Some people even had the temerity of blaming the girl, saying that she would have been better off surrendering to Jesus rather than surrendering to Morris. They argued that since the two seemed to know each other well and it appeared as though she had given prior consent, then she had known what was coming. How insulting!

I might be a green-horn in these matters, but since when did saying no mean yes? If you say “no” and that person does not respect your wishes, it is still statutory rape. Healthy relationships are about respect. Someone who genuinely cares about you will not pressure you to do anything sexual without your agreement.

Never blame the victim. People don’t ‘ask for it’ because of what they wear or how they act. If she agrees to come to your house to watch a movie or study as it had previously been agreed, do not take it to mean anything else unless she expressly tells you so.

Ladies, even when interacting with people you think you know too well, you need to exercise basic precautions. Overall, it behooves you to take charge of your own sexuality.

I recall a few years back when Grandpa Richard talked to me about the birds and the bees. He made sure that I understood sex should only be practiced within the confines of love. What we listened to in the wretched clip was forced sex resulting from an act of aggression, which bore all the characteristics of barbarian rape. “Sex is an act meant to be enjoyed by both parties; not endured,” Grandpa Richard told me.

jowaljones

Jowal Jones is a columnist and correspondent with Kenya's leading newspaper, Daily Nation. He also dabbles in fiction works at times, hoping to be the next Stephen King. Sometimes he takes time out from writing to perfect his deer-dancing and goat-screaming skills.