Guest post by: Julie Hope Ambani When I was young, all I wanted to be when I grew up was beautiful. I wanted to have velvet smooth skin and nice hair. I wanted to be the girl that no boy could resist. This was of course a result of watching too …
An ardent reader of this column, Mr. Michael Hatego, recently wrote to me mourning his watchman and his newspaper vendor. I felt his pain, because I know how hard it is to get a decent newspaper guy for my old man, Grandpa Richard. The deaths, Mr. Hatego noted, resulted from …
You’ve heard the saying “Out of the frying pan into the real fire,” which was coined back in 1985 inside Justice Erastus Wepekhulu’s courtroom. My skin recoiled as the judge, whose scarlet red gown reminded me of the blood drenched airstrip during ‘the assignment’, condemned me to three decades in …
Like a broken record, I have been ranting and raving against abuse of drugs by my comrades for two years now. I have fought tooth and nail to see my comrades shun deleterious substances such as boiled marijuana, liquefied miraa and second generation hooch. It now seems like my comrades …
Your hard work in secondary school paid off and you made it to university. You are elated, sure that this is the beginning of a future with endless possibilities. Since home is too far from school, it only makes sense to board – this will be the first time you …
As narrated to: Lukorito Jones jowal@jowaljones.com www.jowaljones.com My name is Doreen Bruno Karugi. I am 22 years old. On Thursday, 2nd April 2015, gunmen stormed our university from 5am. Official reports at the end of the day indicated that 148 people had been killed. The attack, it was said, was …
If you’re an ardent follower of my column, you might recall that a couple of months ago my old man, Grandpa Richard, had vowed to throw his TV set out the window the next time any of my comrades shows up on primetime news. Well, a fortnight ago he …
Amidst the usual smut and common-place party videos that would make Kenya Film Classification Board Chairman, Ezekiel Mutua, throw up his lunch, a more disturbing clip was shared widely by my comrades early this week. The video was surreal, strange and made my head my head spin. It (allegedly) captures …
My old man, Grandpa Richard, has always questioned the viability of student loans disbursed by the government. While he is all up for helping my comrades pay for their tuition, he is concerned that a huge chunk of that money usually ends up in their pockets instead. “This facilitates them …
My old man, Grandpa Richard, is a prophet who rarely gets appreciated at home. While we should be composing songs in his honour and naming our children (both boys and girls) after him, we instead often choose to ignore the erudite greybeard and his sagacious advice. For exactly two years now, …
Tucked within the pages of this newspaper’s Sunday edition was a tear-jerking story touching on my comrades. But then again, when it comes to my comrades, no news is hardly ever good news. I long for a day when I’ll be chronicling inspirational and heart-lifting tales concerning this lot of …
Two years ago, my old man, Grandpa Richard, suspected that something extremely fishy was going on with my comrades. Relying on his extensive experience in rodent-sniffing, the greybeard smelled a fat and overfed rat among my colleagues and approached me to assist him blow the whistle. “Why don’t you do …
My old man, Grandpa Richard, is on the record urging my comrades to stop consuming blogs that trick them into believing they actually know things, when all they’re filled with are conflicting opinions, warped ideologies, and sleazy photos from the Masaku Sevens. (Read: JACKS OF ALL TRADES; MY COMRADES SPEAK TOO …
Last week was a sad time for all of us. The Kenya Youth Survey Report stated that evils such as corruption and lack of integrity have struck our youths like a thunderbolt. Our youths, as it turns out, are malignant, uncouth, morally corrupt and, get this, cursed. In case you …
My old man, Grandpa Richard, has always held the view that our higher education system is shambolic, topsy-turvy and—gets this—cursed with an evil eye. When he first made these claims, comrades flooded my mailbox and twitter timeline with all forms of contemptuous epithets, crying baloney and saying that his opinions …
My comrades are cruising at 200 kilometres per hour in the wrong direction. We are hurtling at neck-breaking speed towards the edge of the cliff, and nobody seems to be willing to apply the brakes and save us all from tumbling over. If my column today reads like a piece …